Pennies from Heaven

Part of the real joy of living in Belfast is the weather. Ask any local and they will tell you that, in Belfast, seasons don't occur over the whole year; they occur over the period of one day. Why, just this morning when I contemplated whether it was safe to go for a run, the weather changed from peaceful and cloudy, windy and scary, clear and sunny, dark and rainy, then back to peaceful and cloudy. It makes a trip to the grocery store feel like a sting operation. The problem arises in trying to be prepared for any numbers of climate effects. 

If you wear you largest, most warm coat you will run the risk of sweating to death, but as soon as you put on a light jacket, or a jumper, mother nature will see it her personal duty to make you freeze. Wearing warm boots will keep your toes warm, but at the first sight of rain they will get soaked to the bone, making the original joy of the warm boot now useless. On the other hand, opting for the cute shoes will mean having cold wet feet. And on the off chance that you decide to stick it to mother nature and just wear rain boots, it will be sure NOT to rain and then, well, then you just look silly. 

But the bigger, most important issue lies in the predicament of the umbrella. I know what you must be thinking. How could an umbrella hold so many problems? Well, here is this beautiful country an umbrella is both a gift and a curse. You see, Northern Ireland is a place that, through chance or destiny, lives up to the cliche it presents. It rains here. Everyday. In my house we have a whole calendar devoted to marking days where it doesn't rain. The number remains at six. I have been here for close to a month and a half. That, my friends, is a lot of rain. The obvious conclusion would be to get yourself an umbrella. At first sight, the umbrella provides solutions to a number of Belfast problems. You can use it to protect yourself from the ever present rain. It is also a very useful wind guard; by tipping it downward in front of you it provides a way to physically combat the harsh winds. Perhaps the most important application of the umbrella is the "car deterrent". As you may remember from a previous blog, cars in Belfast don't mind running over people. But, with an umbrella, you can prevent this by hitting the unsightly vehicle with your umbrella. This naturally works better if your umbrella is closed - when left open you just look like a crazy person throwing around an open umbrella. So far, an umbrella is looking rather important. But let me relay a little story to you all.

It was Sunday, an unassuming day for most. The official "day of rest", which I was taking full advantage of this weekend. That was until around 5 o'clock, when I headed to Stephanie's house for dinner before our trek to church. As I trudged through the unforgiving elements I found myself thanking the nameless person who left an orange umbrella in our house. I had lost mine in the previous week and therefore saw the unclaimed (bright orange) accessory as a gift from the fates. While using the umbrella to fight the elements, a forceful gust of wind blew me off my feet and my umbrella inside out. I fought and struggled to right the umbrella in the hopes of getting out of the, ever increasing, rain. In a last ditch effort, I tried using the wind to my advantage by pushing the backwards umbrella against the wind. This plan, however well thought-out, backfired. The umbrella did bounce back - but in a way I had not anticipated. While the innermost part of the umbrella stayed inside-out, the edges swung back to their correct placement, making my umbrella look more like a modern art sculpture than an umbrella. I was now soaked, standing in the rain with an interesting version of an umbrella. Not to be discouraged, I walked on. I had not walked five paces before another gust of wind did more damage to my haphazard umbrella. It blew one side of the umbrella back onto itself, effectively breaking the metal and leaving that half to hang uselessly in the air. The best part about this story is that I still managed to use this umbrella for the rest of the night (to and from church in heavy rain and wind!), much to everyone's amusement. When I entered church and set my umbrella up next to Stephanie's mint condition umbrella to dry, it looked so sad that people passing made actual "awww" noises. One man relayed to me a tale he has come to call "The Umbrellas Gone By"; which speaks a time when mother nature devoured four umbrellas in the span of two short weeks. The priest gave me a look of pity and said some of the most influential words I have ever heard. He said, with the solemn tactfulness only an Irish priest can attain, "Love, get yourself a good hood."

And that is the true moral of this story. When coming to Belfast, Northern Ireland, make sure your coat has been scotch-guarded and made with a good, sturdy hood.

Kelsey